Hotdotmip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured lizard.

Hotdotmip created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotdotmip, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hotdotmip, he will be very sad.

Hotdotmip's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hotdotmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight horses in a large pit.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to ducks while wearing cyan trousers.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never hurt shrews.