Flamruttrig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tranquil swan.

Flamruttrig created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Flamruttrig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flamruttrig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Flamruttrig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flamruttrig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always look after injured mites.

3. You must pray to Flamruttrig seven times a day.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always obey Flamruttrig's priests.