Doncannilstan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unthoughtful warg.

Doncannilstan created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doncannilstan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Doncannilstan, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Doncannilstan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Doncannilstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never feed bananas to moths while wearing corsets.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never feed tomatoes to foxes while wearing indigo rings.