Xinflagvagman is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fast lizard.

Xinflagvagman created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinflagvagman, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Xinflagvagman, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Xinflagvagman's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Xinflagvagman's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.