Siggudcen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering penguin.

Siggudcen created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Siggudcen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Siggudcen, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Siggudcen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Siggudcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near whales while wearing white corsets.

2. Do not take Siggudcen's name in vain.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing orange rings and balancing eight zinc spheres on your head.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed onions to rats while wearing dresses.