Linflambam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying cat.

Linflambam created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linflambam, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Linflambam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Linflambam's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Linflambam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Linflambam.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Feed all hungry geese.