Padmegxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unselfish tapir.

Padmegxuc created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padmegxuc, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Padmegxuc, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Padmegxuc's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Padmegxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always wear orange.