Parkzunbag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional gnu.

Parkzunbag created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkzunbag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkzunbag, he will remove you from existence.

Parkzunbag's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Parkzunbag's Holy Commandments

1. Parkzunbag loves rats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Erect eight lead sculptures of Parkzunbag on top of important buildings.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.