Nuttwotbop is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented clam.

Nuttwotbop created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttwotbop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nuttwotbop, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Nuttwotbop's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Nuttwotbop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.