Dobgessneg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful meerkat.

Dobgessneg created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobgessneg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dobgessneg, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dobgessneg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dobgessneg's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobgessneg.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Dobgessneg in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help moths.