Bopjonnart is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, slow octopus.

Bopjonnart created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopjonnart, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bopjonnart, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bopjonnart's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bopjonnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Put Bopjonnart first in all things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Bopjonnart in the centre of the settlement.