Hudbungom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered narwhal.

Hudbungom created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hudbungom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hudbungom, it will turn you into a goat.

Hudbungom's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hudbungom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Hudbungom loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.