Rutqueegyog is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, loving bird.

Rutqueegyog created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutqueegyog, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rutqueegyog, it will not care.

Rutqueegyog's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Rutqueegyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away if nine whales approach from the north.