Tonwitwit is a god.

It takes the form of a large, resourceful narwhal.

Tonwitwit created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonwitwit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonwitwit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tonwitwit's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tonwitwit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tonwitwit.

2. Never think about special relativity near nematodes while wearing violet kilts and balancing five silver spheres on your head.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.