Tabzogyam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, conceited warg.

Tabzogyam created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabzogyam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tabzogyam, he will come to you in dreams.

Tabzogyam's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tabzogyam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tabzogyam four times a day.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near seals while wearing indigo skirts and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Always take life seriously.