Dumlargzed is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, sage shark.

Dumlargzed created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumlargzed, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dumlargzed, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dumlargzed's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dumlargzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always treat sharks with great respect.

4. Run away if four sheep approach from the west.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.