Stikfunwap Bedpaspit Quimfutxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish sheep.

Stikfunwap Bedpaspit Quimfutxuc created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Stikfunwap Bedpaspit Quimfutxuc, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stikfunwap Bedpaspit Quimfutxuc, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Stikfunwap Bedpaspit Quimfutxuc's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Stikfunwap Bedpaspit Quimfutxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Run away from magenta swans, for they are unholy.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.