Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered human.

Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Bonquillgil Larnbotbud Garstanwee loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.