Stafsincisswik is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, witless tortoise.

Stafsincisswik created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafsincisswik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stafsincisswik, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Stafsincisswik's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Stafsincisswik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not take Stafsincisswik's name in vain.

5. Do not speak about oranges.