Yokfobquillnuttlinwap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable spider.

Yokfobquillnuttlinwap created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Yokfobquillnuttlinwap, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yokfobquillnuttlinwap, he will throw large rocks at you.

Yokfobquillnuttlinwap's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yokfobquillnuttlinwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the west.

4. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the east.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.