Veenjatsid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish cow.

Veenjatsid created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenjatsid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Veenjatsid, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Veenjatsid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Veenjatsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing magenta stockings.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Veenjatsid.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.