Gilponmip Nakcabstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witty bee.

Gilponmip Nakcabstaf created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilponmip Nakcabstaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gilponmip Nakcabstaf, he will turn you into a rock.

Gilponmip Nakcabstaf's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gilponmip Nakcabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.