Cepvoglid is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciless salamander.

Cepvoglid created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cepvoglid, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cepvoglid, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Cepvoglid's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cepvoglid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Cepvoglid on top of all buildings.

3. Retreat if nine gulls approach from the east.

4. Never feed lots of rice to horses while wearing orange tights.

5. Erect a giant red sculpture of Cepvoglid in the centre of the settlement.