Xenmisjen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous eagle.

Xenmisjen created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Xenmisjen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xenmisjen, it will try to impress you with trees.

Xenmisjen's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Xenmisjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not take Xenmisjen's name in vain.

5. Never play with disobedient children.