Bettarpkar is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, happy squid.

Bettarpkar created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Bettarpkar, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bettarpkar, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bettarpkar's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bettarpkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never mention tapirs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Do not eat coconuts.