Bogtitsasbus is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, impressive guinea pig.

Bogtitsasbus created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtitsasbus, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bogtitsasbus, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bogtitsasbus' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bogtitsasbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Run away if five seals approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed carrots to grasshopers while wearing pink boots.