Tabpadbest is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless porpoise.

Tabpadbest created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tabpadbest, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabpadbest, he will turn you into a frog.

Tabpadbest's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tabpadbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing cyan hats and balancing five silicon spheres on your face.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never leap in the presence of ants.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.