Guntarptip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish mouse.

Guntarptip created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guntarptip, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Guntarptip, he will laugh at you.

Guntarptip's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Guntarptip's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

3. Guntarptip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Guntarptip.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.