Hogcubsad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, humorless pig.

Hogcubsad created the planet Jupiter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogcubsad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hogcubsad, she will destroy your favourite star.

Hogcubsad's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hogcubsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.