Tadlarpton is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered rat.

Tadlarpton created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Tadlarpton, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tadlarpton, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tadlarpton's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Tadlarpton's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Run away if three seals approach from the east.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.