Armbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm gorilla.

Armbaf created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Armbaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Armbaf, he will turn you into a worm.

Armbaf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Armbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. You must pray to Armbaf three times a day.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.