Larnsigsigpig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty chicken.

Larnsigsigpig created the Sunflower Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnsigsigpig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larnsigsigpig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Larnsigsigpig's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Larnsigsigpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Always obey Larnsigsigpig's priests.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Retreat if eight sharks approach from the west.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.