Fonbossbarn Dudpakhin is a god.

He takes the form of a small, narcissistic goblin.

Fonbossbarn Dudpakhin created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonbossbarn Dudpakhin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fonbossbarn Dudpakhin, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fonbossbarn Dudpakhin's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fonbossbarn Dudpakhin's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always help sick gulls.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about black holes.