Lithudjen Dogquammin is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless butterfly.

Lithudjen Dogquammin created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lithudjen Dogquammin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lithudjen Dogquammin, she will refuse to believe in you.

Lithudjen Dogquammin's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Lithudjen Dogquammin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Lithudjen Dogquammin on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about fire.