Jiggamcen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-confident manatee.

Jiggamcen created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiggamcen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jiggamcen, it will think nothing of it.

Jiggamcen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jiggamcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Jiggamcen loves doves, so they must be honoured.

5. Put Jiggamcen first in all things.