Nanvanloopzog is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, omnipotent dugong.

Nanvanloopzog created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanvanloopzog, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nanvanloopzog, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nanvanloopzog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nanvanloopzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Worship no other gods but Nanvanloopzog.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Hide from black rats for they are unholy.