Hasbegflap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, irritating whale.

Hasbegflap created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasbegflap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hasbegflap, she will cry a lot.

Hasbegflap's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Hasbegflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention capybaras.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always treat manatees with great respect.

5. Never write about cell theory.