Cimteenril is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, pitiless narwhal.

Cimteenril created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimteenril, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cimteenril, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cimteenril's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cimteenril's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Hide from cyan birds for they are unholy.

4. Never mention hamsters.

5. Do not stand on grass.