Yatmobbem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous toad.

Yatmobbem created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatmobbem, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yatmobbem, he will come to you in dreams.

Yatmobbem's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yatmobbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bats.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yatmobbem.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never paint your back cyan.