Pitfodomin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, clever slug.

Pitfodomin created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitfodomin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pitfodomin, she will turn you into a tree.

Pitfodomin's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Pitfodomin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Pitfodomin.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Never hurt frogs.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Hide if five seals approach from the south.