Nablopzig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unjust yak.

Nablopzig created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nablopzig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nablopzig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nablopzig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Nablopzig's Holy Commandments

1. Nablopzig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nablopzig.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.