Hasgad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, staggering jaguar.

Hasgad created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Hasgad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hasgad, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hasgad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hasgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not hurt dogs.

4. Hasgad loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. You must never eat lentils.