Yatflapkap is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate penguin.

Yatflapkap created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatflapkap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yatflapkap, he will turn you into a slug.

Yatflapkap's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Yatflapkap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never feed pineapples to bats while wearing black rings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Yatflapkap on top of all buildings.

5. Yatflapkap loves seals, so they must be respected.