Konwattonk is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, resourceful duck.

Konwattonk created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Konwattonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Konwattonk, she will be very sad.

Konwattonk's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Konwattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.