Larpmettin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, passionate gnu.

Larpmettin created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpmettin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larpmettin, it will not care at all.

Larpmettin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Larpmettin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never hurt dolphins.