Lamartfet is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered salamander.

Lamartfet created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Lamartfet, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamartfet, he will not care.

Lamartfet's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lamartfet's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.