Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, witless rat.

Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. You must love Yakcem Mispanghanfunfab.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed lots of limes to rats while wearing yellow corsets.

5. Never think about comets.