Cudnuttdog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever hydra.

Cudnuttdog created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudnuttdog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cudnuttdog, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cudnuttdog's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cudnuttdog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cudnuttdog.

2. Never think about dark matter near mites while wearing violet trousers and balancing four iron spheres on your head.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.