Cussfasgutbodxembat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, fussy jaguar.

Cussfasgutbodxembat created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussfasgutbodxembat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cussfasgutbodxembat, she will remove you from existence.

Cussfasgutbodxembat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cussfasgutbodxembat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never jump near swans.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.