Gessgadlenhud is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered rhinoceros.

Gessgadlenhud created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessgadlenhud, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gessgadlenhud, he will destroy your home planet.

Gessgadlenhud's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gessgadlenhud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Run away from yellow hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Learn three new languages a year.